I was recently at an airport in Taipei, where I saw this young woman with a hand sanitizer having the logo of UTHSC. That’s the University of Tennessee Health Science Center. I was very surprised to see someone affiliated with my home state while we were halfway around the globe. I was going to ask her about it, but she was on the phone throughout our wait / boarding pass scanning / trek to seat acquisition. At one point, I couldn’t help but overhear her scolding the other person she was talking to: “You should make better use of your time! Like I am making use of my wait now by talking to you!” I identified with that statement a lot.
Throughout college, I strove for maximal efficiency of my time and my money, carefully scheduling meals (when and how long they were), sleep hours, shower times, etc. to not have any “wasted” time. I still do it in grad school today. For example, “Is it worth my driving x minutes there, if I’ll only be there for y minutes?” I fret over details such as the rising cost of gasoline, the amount of traffic, and the opportunity cost of that “wasted” time. It’s a stressful way to live, but I never realized that optimization itself could be the issue.
With the ever-optimizing mindset, it’s hard for me to accept things that happen beyond my control. If I mess something up within my control, it’s hard for me to let go of that mistake. The latest problem I had to address was for a flight to a conference next month. I booked an overnight flight to leave on the day I was supposed to arrive instead of flying out the night before. It took four failed attempts to change my reservation online and over an hour on the phone before I could finally switch my flight. That error cost me a $200 change fee plus $51 fare difference. This pained me, especially since I had lost $203 + $28 in other travel costs recently. It’s hard to not dwell upon this mishap constantly, but I’m dealing with it much better than I would have a month ago.
I just spent the past three weeks in Vietnam to visit family. It was so releasing to me to not penny-pinch and minute-pinch and to just take each day as it came. I enjoyed the simpler, more leisurely lifestyle which un-frazzled my nerves more than any break I’ve had in grad school. Upon my return to the U.S., I felt much calmer, more centered, and more accepting of everyday happenings. I set my priorities in order again, not focusing my entire life on work. Here’s to maintaining this frame of mind going forward.